


Hail, Caesar!

by bookscape



Category: Zorro (TV 1957)
Genre: Dogs, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 14:29:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19443328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookscape/pseuds/bookscape
Summary: An ugly little dog helps Sgt. Garcia capture Zorro.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> An ugly little dog helps Sgt. Garcia capture Zorro.

hail

**[2](http://www.bookscape.net/zshort/hailcaesar2.htm)**

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**[3](http://www.bookscape.net/zshort/hailcaesar3.htm)**

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**[4](http://www.bookscape.net/zshort/hailcaesar4.htm)**  
  
---|---|---  
  
**_Hail, Caesar_**  
  
---  
  
| 

_Description:_

**Sgt. Garcia's new pet wreaks havoc in the life of the outlaw, Zorro, who must find a way to trick, not only Sgt. Garcia, but also Caesar, the homely little dog.**

**_Disclaimer:_  
All Zorro characters are copyrighted by Zorro Productions. Caesar and the other characters are from my own imagination and belong to me. If anyone has a desire to use them, just ask; I'm a reasonable person. Any flaws are not to be laid at the feet of Uncle Remus or Joel Chandler Harris, a bit of whose story, "The Tar Baby," I borrowed from, for "Hail, Caesar." Any mistakes are all mine. By the way, if anyone is old enough to remember, Disney immortalized that great southern story in the "Song of the South."**

**_A note from the Author:_  
This originally appeared in Zorro's Secret Passage and I am indebted to David Nesbitt for allowing it to be on his website. This is the first Zorro short story I ever wrote and with the encouragement of Patricia Crumpler and David Nesbitt, published on the web. It is therefore dedicated to them. I also want to thank Johnston McCulley, Walt Disney and Guy Williams. Although they are no longer with us, they gave the world a hero we can all write and dream about. Salud.**

**\--[Susan L. Kite](mailto:bookscape@earthlink.net)  
July, 1998,  
slightly re-edited April, 1999 and July/November, 2001**  
  
---  
  
**Chapter One**

**When Sergeant Garcia had adjusted to the fact that the little dog had decided to adopt him, he was like a new father. He sang the praises of his new little friend, declaring that this had to be the most wonderful dog in all of California. Corporal Reyes probably expressed the sentiments of most of the residents of the pueblo, by shaking his head and declaring that it was the ugliest dog that he had ever seen.**

**"Baboso, can you not see how smart he is? He just needs to be brushed and fed," Garcia declared and handed the dog to Reyes to do just that.**

**Reyes, grumbling as he brushed the animal's wiry coat, noted that the dog was of no particular breed, but had a lot of different breeds in his ancestry. After feeding the little dog, he had to admit that he did look a little better. "But it is still ugly," he declared to no one in particular. He took the dog back to the sergeant, who decided to take his new pet to the tavern with him.**

**It was there that he saw his good friend, Don Diego sitting alone at one of the tables, enjoying a glass of wine. The patrón had his long legs stretched out in front of him, in an attitude of languid ease. When he saw Sgt. Garcia, he raised his glass, smiled, and motioned for him to come over. Then young de la Vega saw the little dog following, and stared at it in amusement.**

**Garcia sat down heavily with a sigh and looked longingly at the bottle of wine sitting on the table. Diego was used to the routine and waved to the innkeeper to bring over an extra glass. "Gracias, Don Diego," Garcia said in gratitude, as he poured the wine into his glass. "Did you notice my new friend?"**

**"Yes, I could not help but notice him, Sergeant," Diego understated, with a slight smile. He looked askance at the homely creature curled up at the sergeant's feet. Personally, the caballero felt he had seen better-looking rats down by the wharf. He could not imagine where the dog could have come from.**

**Garcia interrupted his reverie. "I would bet that you have never seen a smarter or more handsome dog in all of your life, would you not say, Don Diego?" Garcia was beaming in obvious pride.**

**Diego, for his part did not want to hurt his friend's feelings, but was not about to agree. "I would say that this animal is very unique and as far as being smart, well, Sergeant, look with whom he has made friends." Diego sat back, thinking that he handled that quite well. Then he looked up and saw Bernardo watching with an amused look on his face. The manservant made a sign that indicated that Diego was less than imaginative in his answer. The caballero just shrugged.**

**It was then that Bernardo pointed down to the little dog. Diego looked and saw him sniffing around the table legs and his newly purchased boots. "Sergeant Garcia, can I assume that your little friend has not been house broken?" Diego asked in consternation as he quickly pulled his feet under his chair just before the little dog relieved himself. Garcia looked under the table, gathered the dog, and fled in embarrassment. Diego chose not to make any comments to anyone other than the innkeeper as he got up and moved to another table. Bernardo joined him, obviously enjoying the activities of the little dog. Soon Garcia returned and when the innkeeper shot him a glance of irritation from under the recently vacated table where he was cleaning up, the sergeant just apologized and sat down next to Don Diego, ignoring the fact that the hacendado had moved.**

**It did not take long for the acting comandante to return to his former good humor. "I have decided on a name for my little one, Don Diego," he said with great pride.**

**"Oh, Sergeant?" Diego said. "What did you decide on?" He was slowly sipping his wine while keeping an eye on the dog.**

**"Caesar," Garcia crowed. "Like that general you were telling me about."**

**Diego was so shocked that he choked on his wine and Bernardo pounded him on the back. When he had recovered, he asked the reasoning behind the name. Diego thought dismally that it would be appropriate for such a pitiful looking dog to have a name associated with a joke that caused him to spend a night in a vermin infested jail.**

**"Oh, Don Diego, I thought that such a noble dog should have a noble name and I remember in Monterey that you told me about the General named Julius Caesar. Ah, I thought to myself, what nobler name than that of a general. Do you not agree?" he asked with great pride.**

**"Sí, Sergeant," Diego lied. "Absolutely. Now you must excuse me. I do have other duties to attend to." He motioned to Bernardo to follow and leaving the appropriate number of pesos for the wine, quietly left the ugly dog, its proud master and the inn behind.**

**Without the presence of a patrón to keep him in the good graces of the innkeeper, Sergeant Garcia was soon asked to take his little dog and himself out of the inn.**

**The other duty that Diego had referred to was a visit to the local church where he left a donation from the de la Vega family. Bernardo waited outside with the horses. His patrón often liked to get in lengthy conversations with the padre about various strategies in chess as both were avid chess players. It was while he was waiting that he saw someone standing at a side window near the padre's little office.**

**When Diego came out a short while later, Bernardo related the fact to his patrón in sign. The caballero looked disturbed, and when they had ridden far enough from the pueblo, Diego explained the reason for his anxiety. "Father Miguel informed me that he and another priest are going to take some valuable artifacts to San Gabriel early this evening. They chose not to say anything except to a few people, but apparently someone heard a rumor and was listening to learn more." Bernardo looked intently at his patrón and made the sign of a "Z."**

**"Yes, Bernardo, I think that Zorro should make sure that nothing happens to the priests and their valuables this evening," Diego agreed with his manservant.**  
  
---  
  
****

**  
**

**[Chapter Two](http://www.bookscape.net/zshort/hailcaesar2.htm)**  
---  
**[Caesar Chronicles Introduction](http://www.bookscape.net/zshort/caesarchronicles.htm)**  
**[Zorro Contents](http://www.bookscape.net/zorro/zorrocontents.htm)**  
**[Main Page](http://www.bookscape.net/index.htm)**


	2. Chapter 2

Hail

**_Hail, Caesar_**  
  
---  
  
**Chapter Two**

**Just outside of Los Angeles, on the road to the Mission San Gabriel, Zorro found that two bandits had wasted little time in acquiring their new riches. As he rode over the ridge overlooking the road, he observed that one of the men was holding the priests at abeyance with a pistol, while his companion was putting the religious artifacts in a sack. Father Miguel was protesting vehemently, letting the men know the dire consequences they would face in the hereafter.**

**Zorro urged Tornado down the ridge at his fastest possible speed. Both bandits spun around and the one who already had his pistol out, fired. The shot went wild, as Zorro knew it probably would, and he pulled out his whip, ordering the men to return the artifacts to the priests. The second bandit drew his pistol, but by this time Zorro had reached the road, and his whip jerked the weapon out of the man's hand, where it flew through the air and fell among the rocks.**

**Father Miguel had not been idle, either. When the first bandit had almost succeeded in reloading his pistol, the priest knocked it out of his hand and then tackled him to the ground. Zorro drew his blade and the point rested at the other man's throat, just above the collarbone. The novice priest had retaken possession of the artifacts.**

**"Señores," Zorro said quietly to the bandits. "I believe that those items do not belong to you. I suppose that you know that stealing is a sin," he added with a smile. "I also suppose that it would be very wise if you left now and let the good padres continue their journey."**

**The men stared, too shocked to move. "Vamos!" Zorro ordered. "And leave your weapons and ammunition behind." They quickly dropped their pouches of powder and shot, and mounting, rode quickly in the direction of Los Angeles.**

**After the bandits had ridden out of sight, Zorro turned to the priests and asked if they had been harmed. "We are fine, Señor Zorro. Gracias." Father Miguel told him. "But how could they know about the artifacts? And how did you know we would be robbed?" the priest queried.**

**"Perhaps I heard the same rumor that the bandits heard, Padre," Zorro answered enigmatically. "However I found out about the artifacts, I am very glad I was able to arrive in time to keep you from harm."**

**"Sí, Señor Zorro," Father Domingo, the novice said fervently. "And to save the artifacts. They were priceless!"**

**"I know, Padre,” the outlaw answered. "I will accompany you to the mission in case other opportunists have heard of your trip." The priests thanked him and mounting their mules, continued their journey. The remainder of the trip was uneventful, marred only by the occasional flashes of distant lightning from an approaching storm. As the group neared the mission, Father Miguel invited Zorro to wait out the storm in the mission.**

**"No, Father, I believe I can make it back to Los Angeles before the worst of the storm arrives, but I appreciate your kind offer," the outlaw told them. "I see the mission up ahead. I will take my leave now, Father Miguel, Father Domingo. Con permiso."**

**The priest nodded. "You will be blessed, my son," Father Miguel said. "Vaya con Dios." They watched as Zorro rode off into the gathering dusk of the quickly strengthening storm. The two padres held their robes tightly as the wind intensified, entering the mission just before the rain began.**

**After galloping down the road for several miles, with the wind swirling gritty dust all around him, Zorro realized that he had miscalculated the speed of this storm's approach. Rarely had he seen a storm intensify this fast. Soon the rain came to relieve the choking dust, and it and the wind seemed to propel the man and his horse faster down the road. Zorro allowed Tornado his head, as the trail was familiar and fairly smooth. The horse continued his mile-eating cantor despite the storm, until they reached a rise. At that moment, not twenty feet away, a bolt of lightning hit the trunk of a great oak tree. The boom of exploding wood was simultaneously answered by an ear-shattering clap of thunder.**

**Zorro found out the other thing besides fire that would cause his great stallion to panic. Tornado leaped sideways, almost unseating his master and then he reared in terror. The outlaw, already half out of the saddle, could get no purchase on the slippery leather and found himself grasping empty air as Tornado leaped forward.**

**Only partially able to twist his body to land on his feet, Zorro hit the ground awkwardly and painfully. It was then that a second bolt of lightning hit the crown of the old tree causing the upper branches to crash down across the trail and Zorro, who had not had time to recover from his fall.**

**Water dripping from the leaves, woke the outlaw several hours later. He groggily tried to piece together the past events and then heard Tornado snorting and pawing nearby. Zorro found his arms pinned against his body, while a large branch slightly restricted his breathing. Looking at some of the sheared off secondary branches, he wondered wryly, if he was fortunate or unfortunate and figured ironically that the answer was a little of both.**

**Expelling the air from his lungs, he slowly managed to work his right hand across his body to his sash, where he had hidden a small knife. Pulling it out, Zorro was then able to scrape the softened soil away from his body. Tornado snorted again, and Zorro called to him. "Tornado, go get Bernardo. Go Tornado!" The horse wheeled around and galloped down the road toward Los Angeles. Eventually he knew that he could work his way out from under the tree, but it would take a great deal of time and he could ill afford to be helpless for so long.**

**Continuing to dig at the soil, Zorro heard the approach of a horse. Then he recognized the voice of its rider. It was Sgt. Garcia, singing to his little dog, Caesar. Zorro froze and hoped that he was hidden well enough to be overlooked by the sergeant. Suddenly Caesar began growling and barking, drawing his master's attention to the fallen tree.**

**"Caesar, it is only a tree that was struck by lightning. Nothing to worry about." The dog sounded beside himself and Zorro heard the sergeant dismount and put the little dog down. Immediately, Caesar dashed under the branches to the pinned outlaw and began growling and tugging at his cape. Zorro mentally groaned at the bad luck that seemed to be following him around this night.**

**Looking for his dog, Garcia pushed branches out of the way. Pulling a larger branch aside, the recently risen moon revealed to the sergeant the irritated countenance of the man he had only been able to dream of capturing.**

**"Señor Zorro!!" he exclaimed in shock. Caesar continued to gnaw on Zorro's cape.**

**"Sí, Sergeant Garcia," Zorro said in exasperation.**  
  
---  
  
****

**  
**

**[Chapter Three](http://www.bookscape.net/zshort/hailcaesar3.htm)**  
---  
**[Chapter One](http://www.bookscape.net/zshort/hailcaesar1.htm)**  
**[Caesar Chronicles Introduction](http://www.bookscape.net/zshort/caesarchronicles.htm)**  
**[Zorro Contents](http://www.bookscape.net/zorro/zorrocontents.htm)**  
**[Main Page](http://www.bookscape.net/index.htm)**


	3. Hail

Hail

**_Hail, Caesar_**  
  
---  
  
**Chapter Three**

**"Two thousand pesos," Garcia breathed, still in shock over his good fortune. He got a dreamy faraway look as though imagining all the wonderful things that kind of money would buy.**

**"Sergeant," Zorro interrupted Garcia's reverie. "Would you please help me out from under this tree?"**

**"Oh, sí, señor," Garcia answered. Bracing himself, he slowly lifted the large branch, enabling the outlaw to slide out from under the imprisoning limb. Zorro immediately jumped to his feet and attempted to run to the sergeant's horse, but ended up on his knees instead, when his right leg gave way beneath him. Caesar, still growling, started gnawing on his boot. Zorro gently shoved him aside.**

**Grunting with effort, Garcia slowly lowered the large branch to the ground, not noticing the outlaw's attempted escape, but was surprised when he turned and saw Zorro pull his boot off and examine his right ankle. "What is wrong, Señor Zorro?" he asked in concern.**

**"Apparently, sergeant, I hurt my ankle when all of this happened," Zorro explained. Removing his sash, the outlaw tore it in half and then tightly bound up the slightly swollen ankle. "And would you kindly get your dog away from me?" Zorro had to grab his boot to keep the offensive little animal from carrying it away.**

**"Is he not wonderful?" Garcia boasted. "He even helped me capture you."**

**Zorro mentally winced. "Sergeant Garcia, please do not be offended if I am less than enthusiastic about your new friend right now." He managed to slide his boot back on as the sergeant laughed merrily at his Zorro's comment. When the outlaw looked back up he saw Garcia pointing his pistol at him.**

**"Señor Zorro hand me your sword," Garcia ordered. Zorro complied. "Now take off the mask, señor. I have always wondered who you are."**

**Zorro thought furiously for several seconds."Sergeant, are you not the one who always boasted that when you caught me, you would unmask me in public in the cuartel?"**

**"Sí, Señor Zorro," the sergeant answered. "I did say that, did I not? You are right, that is exactly what I will do." Zorro breathed a soft sigh of relief.**

**Garcia looked towards his horse, then back at his prisoner. "Hand me the rest of your sash, señor." Again Zorro complied. "Now turn around," and to the outlaw's disgust, Garcia used the material to bind his wrists together.**

**Caesar just stood back and growled at him while Garcia gathered what little dry, aged wood he could find and built a small campfire. "I am too tired to try to figure out how to get you back to the cuartel tonight. By tomorrow there will be lancers looking for me anyway and you will not be able to play any of your tricks on me."**

**Zorro was not overly worried at this time, as he had been able to take advantage of the sergeant before when the man fell asleep. He would be patient. Soon, Garcia began to snore softly and Zorro started working at the knots. It was a great help that his riding gloves had been left on when he had been bound.**

**Finally, he was able to slip one hand out of its glove and quickly remove the bindings. Caesar growled and barked. Sgt. Garcia snorted in mid-snore and woke up, pointing his pistol at Zorro, who kept his hands behind his back.**

**"Señor Zorro, do not try to pull any of your tricks on me. I have waited a long time for the two thousand _pesos_ ," Garcia informed his prisoner. He laid his head back on the rock against which he had been sleeping and soon was lightly snoring again.**

**Zorro quietly started to get up while talking softly to the dog. Caesar had barely started to growl when the sergeant jerked awake. Zorro was back in his former position, looking innocently at his captor. _Apparently_ , the outlaw thought in disgust, _Sgt. Garcia is so excited about actually having captured me that he cannot sleep as soundly as he usually does_. Caesar just looked at him and growled.**

**Pondering how best to proceed, Zorro realized the danger Bernardo might be in if he came now and tried to help him escape. Somehow, he had to convince the acting comandante that there was no way he could escape and then he might relax. After deliberating a bit more, an idea suddenly came to him and he almost laughed out loud.**

**"Sgt. Garcia!" he roared, startling dog and man. "Get this beast away from me!!"**

**Garcia, it had to be noted, came from semi-sleep to a standing position faster than Zorro could have conceived possible. The sergeant stared down at his prisoner in disbelief. "Are you talking about Caesar?"**

**"Sí, sergeant, I am,” Zorro put a slight tremble into his voice. "Keep that dog away from me."**

**Garcia was puzzled. True, Caesar had helped catch the outlaw and the dog had been growling at him, but he couldn't understand why Zorro was so adamant about keeping the dog away. "But why, Señor Zorro, Caesar would not actually do anything. And surely you cannot be angry with him." He picked up the little dog and held him in his lap. For the life of him he would have sworn that Zorro had just breathed a sigh of relief.**

**"Gracias, Sergeant," Zorro said fervently. "That is much better."**

**Garcia held Caesar out towards his prisoner and said, "Señor, why do you feel that way about such a nice little dog?" Understanding began to glimmer as the bound outlaw backed up as quickly from the dog as he could, a look of fear in his eyes.**

**"Surely, señor, you are not afraid of Caesar?" The thought of El Zorro afraid of anything seemed ludicrous to him. Zorro was always so self assured and courageous.**

**"Sergeant, you are the only other person who knows this now. I am afraid of all dogs, not just yours,” Zorro answered plaintively, as though ashamed to admit to so embarrassing a phobia. "I was not able to hide it any longer."**

**Garcia stared at the outlaw for another moment and then looked down at Caesar, at which time he began laughing, long and loud. He looked again at Zorro, who had a stricken look on his face and he tried to stop laughing, but was totally unsuccessful. Finally he wiped the tears from his eyes, and began to gain control of himself. "I am sorry, Señor Zorro, I do not mean to make fun of you, but it is so funny."**

**"Sgt. Garcia, you may do anything to me, but do not make me endure the presence of the dog, por favor,” Zorro begged.**

**Putting the little dog down near Zorro, he admonished Caesar to keep a close watch on his prisoner.**

**"You are very cruel, sergeant," Zorro exclaimed, staring at the little dog in fear.**

**"Maybe, señor," Garcia interjected with a chuckle. "But you have dumped me in wells, lakes and tar pits. Caesar will keep you from playing any more tricks on me while I sleep." Sgt. Garcia continued to chuckle for a minute. Then he looked at Zorro with pity before he closed his eyes and began the heavy snoring that the prisoner associated with deep sleep.**

**Immediately, Zorro held out his hand and softly called to Caesar. The dog slowly approached and sniffed his fingers. The prisoner was very patient and soon the little dog crawled into his lap, begging to be scratched behind the ears. Continuing to talk soothingly to Caesar, Zorro quietly got to his feet, gathered his sword and limped to the sergeant's horse. Sgt. Garcia was still snoring peacefully. Putting the little dog into its specially prepared saddlebag, Zorro swung onto the soldier's horse and quietly headed down the road to Los Angeles.**

**Bernardo was waiting a short distance from the camp, Caesar growled at the manservant until Zorro spoke soothingly to him. In sign, Bernardo indicated he had heard almost the entire ruse that his patrón had used against the sergeant, signing how funny he thought it had been.**

**"Bernardo, this is a cruel joke I have had to play on the good sergeant, because I suspect it will be awhile before he realizes how badly he has been tricked,” Zorro admitted. They continued onward and at the manservant's urging, the outlaw related what had happened after leaving the priests.**

**The sergeant's horse and dog were left at the cuartel gate. The little dog's saddlebag had a small 'Z' carved into it and Caesar was comfortably asleep inside when found by a guard the next morning.**  
  
---  
  
**[Chapter Four](http://www.bookscape.net/zshort/hailcaesar4.htm)**  
---  
**[Chapter One](http://www.bookscape.net/zshort/hailcaesar1.htm)**  
**[Caesar Chronicles Introduction](http://www.bookscape.net/zshort/caesarchronicles.htm)**  
**[Zorro Contents](http://www.bookscape.net/zorro/zorrocontents.htm)**  
**[Main Page](http://www.bookscape.net/index.htm)**  
  
****

**  
**


	4. Hail

Hail

**_Hail, Caesar_**  
  
---  
  
**Chapter Four**

**Diego’s sprain was minor and within two days he was able to walk short distances without any noticeable limp. A day later, Sgt. Garcia and Caesar entered the inn and were invited by Diego to sit with him. The patrón ordered more wine and asked the sergeant the reason for his glum countenance.**

**"I captured Zorro, Don Diego," he sighed.**

**"But that is wonderful, sergeant!" he exclaimed. "Why are you so unhappy?"**

**"Because he got away," Garcia moaned. "So did the two thousand pesos."**

**"That is too bad. That must have been some fight if he got away from you," Diego deadpanned.**

**"No, Don Diego, there was no fight." Then Garcia brightened a bit. "But I did find out something about _Señor_ Zorro that no one else knows. A secret."**

**"What, sergeant?" Diego leaned close and asked conspiratorially.**

**"That he is afraid of dogs," the sergeant said in triumph. "He was afraid of Caesar."**

**"Sergeant, you cannot be serious!" Diego exclaimed.**

**"Sí, Don Diego. So now all I have to do is keep an eye open for anyone who is afraid of Caesar and I will know that he is Zorro." The big man smiled in anticipation.**

**"But if he was afraid of Caesar, how did El Zorro get away?" Diego queried.**

**"That I cannot figure out, because he took my horse and Caesar, too." He looked under the table at the dog sleeping peacefully against his foot.**

**"Might I suggest, Sgt. Garcia, that the bandit played a cruel trick on you?" Diego ventured.**

**"But he seemed so sincere," Garcia recalled. Then he sighed. "Corporal Reyes said the same thing. I suppose you could be right, Don Diego. But I am still going to see if anyone in the pueblo is afraid of dogs, just in case."**

**Both men sat quietly with their own thoughts, enjoying their wine. Finally, Garcia smiled. "But I am also a little glad that he got away. We have saved each other a time or two, you know."**

**"Yes, I know," Diego responded. Caesar had jumped up into his lap and he was scratching behind the little dog’s ears.**

**Looking at his pet, Garcia smiled. "So I guess that means that I should not blame Caesar for Zorro’s escape."**

**"Of course not, Sergeant," Diego said with a smile. Caesar had curled up and fallen asleep in his lap. "In fact, I propose a toast to your little friend." Diego raised his glass and Garcia followed suit. "Hail, Caesar," he said. The dog slept through the toast made in his honor.**

**The End**  
  
---  
  
[](mailto:firstbookscape@gmail.com) **Please, let me know what you thought of the story.**  
  
---  
  
**[Chapter One](http://www.bookscape.net/zshort/hailcaesar1.htm)**  
---  
**[Caesar Chronicles Introduction](http://www.bookscape.net/zshort/caesarchronicles.htm)**  
**[Zorro Contents](http://www.bookscape.net/zorro/zorrocontents.htm)**  
**[Main Page](http://www.bookscape.net/index.htm)**


End file.
